We’ve heard it before—women are from a different planet (Venus) than men (Mars). This has been causing problems since the beginning of time. More recently, popular books on this subject have been dealing with relationships between women and men—“what does he mean when he says/does....., why does she play these games....?” One of the major differences between the genders is how they deal with failure. Women tend to internalize failure – blame it on themselves, while men mostly look to the outside – faulty equipment for example. Women also define themselves differently than men. Ask any woman who she is, most likely the response will be something like: “I am a mother, daughter, wife, friend....”, before she mentions a position or job. While relationships are important for men as well, they tend to define themselves through their accomplishments such as career, participation at sports, certain hobbies, and possessions. It is no wonder that the mother child relationship is a very important factor to consider when dealing with alcohol and drug addictions.
Meta House in Milwaukee has been providing a substance abuse treatment program for 45 years, specifically for women and mothers, addressing their unique gender related issues. According to Francine Feinberg, Executive Director of Meta House, original treatment programs for substance abuse were almost entirely based on men: his social status, his physiological and psychological demands. What researchers and treatment facilities learned over the last few decades is that women (especially mothers) with a substance abuse problem need a different approach. Because women tend to internalize everything far more than men, they can not be treated as a separate “unit” from their children. Mothers in a way “are” their children and the best treatment program in the world will often fail, if a mother has to leave her child behind, even though she is doing the “right thing” by getting help. Men rarely face this dilemma.
Another very important underlying issue is the fact that the vast majority of the women with substance abuse problems, according to Francine, have a history of childhood sexual and physical abuse. These women use alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism. Taking it away forces them to face their own history, fears and feelings. Not only do they have to deal with their addictions, but also the root causes of them.
Meta House provides residential treatment for women and their children, permanent and transitional housing, and outpatient treatment services. This includes services for children who have – depending on their developmental stage – their own unique issues based on their mothers’ substance abuse problem. Only if mothers andtheir children are healed is there a chance to brake the cycle of alcohol and drug abuse. “These women are amazing” Francine said during the tour of the administrative and outpatient building. “They teach us a lot and make us proud.”
If you would like to get involved, there is always a need for volunteers and a wish list of items for the housing facilities. http://www.metahouse.org/index.html
